


Who Knows How Long I've Loved You

by irelandhoneybee



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Post Defenders, post punisher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irelandhoneybee/pseuds/irelandhoneybee
Summary: Those three little words





	Who Knows How Long I've Loved You

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Matt's been back in Hell's Kitchen for a few months. He and Karen have been dating for one month.

Karen could tell something was on Matt’s mind. It had been five days since they had seen each other. They had been able to spend a (somewhat) lazy weekend at Matt’s place with Karen sleeping over both Friday and Saturday nights waiting for him to get home, but then their busy schedules interfered, and they hadn’t seen each other since Sunday. Karen had jumped at his offer to go to dinner after they finished work for the day and before he went out tonight. But he seemed distracted all through dinner, and had asked her to repeat herself several times, which was unlike him. And whatever it was must have been making him nervous; she swore she saw his hand trembling at one point when he reached for his water glass. 

She figured it must be something Daredevil related, and hoped that he would open up to her as the evening went on. They had been officially dating for a month now. She had tried to make it as clear as she could to him before they had even started dating again that she supported his nighttime activities and that he didn’t have to be afraid to tell her what was going on. And so far Matt had been good about not shutting her out of his Daredevil life. But something definitely seemed to be bothering him tonight. 

Matt walked her home after they ate. Karen tried a few times along the way to strike up a conversation, but Matt was still completely stuck in his head. Karen eventually gave up, and they walked the rest of the way in silence. A thought popped into her head that she desperately tried to ignore. He wasn’t about to break up with her, was he? He had seemed so happy ever since they started dating. But it had only been a month. Had she simply been projecting her own happiness onto him? What if he didn’t like being tied down? What if he didn’t think it fit his vigilante lifestyle to have a girlfriend? Her panic eased only a little as he laced his fingers through hers on the last block.

Once they got upstairs, Karen couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted answers. 

“Matt, is everything ok? Because you know you can tell me about whatever’s going on; I want you to. I want to help if I can”.

Matt took her hand and squeezed it, Karen’s words only verifying what he desperately wanted-no desperately needed to tell her.

He took a step closer to her and leaned in to gently press his lips to hers.

“Everything is fine, I promise.”

“Matt, I know something’s bothering you. Whatever it is, please just tell me. You’re scaring me a little bit here”.

“I’m sorry”. Matt took a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to tell you this all night.”

Karen stared at him, waiting, trying her best not to panic. 

“OK, after I say this, I don’t want you to feel obligated to say anything back, ok? Promise?”

Karen’s eyes widened as it started to dawn on her what Matt was trying to tell her. Suddenly unable to speak, Karen gulped and nodded, knowing he’d pick up the movement of her head.

Matt took his glasses of and slipped them in his shirt pocket and started to loosen his tie. “I know it’s only been a month. And I’ve been going back and forth for days thinking this might scare you away, which is the last thing I want to do.” He cleared his throat to try and stop his voice from shaking. 

“But after everything that happened I don’t want to waste another second. I just-I need you to know this”.

He paused and took another deep breath before continuing, his words coming out in a rush. “Karen-I love you. I love you so much it hurts. And I have for a really long time now, and I was such an idiot before, and I can’t tell you how much I hate myself for that, and I think I just wasn’t ready for it, I think I was actually afraid of it, but I love you more than I thought I could ever love anybody and I know it’s probably too soon to be telling you this and I understand if-"

Karen cut him off by grabbing his face with both of her hands and kissing him passionately as Matt’s hands found her waist. They eventually came up for air, and Karen moved her hands from his face down to his neck.

“I love you too, Matt”.

Matt tried and failed to choke back his sob.

“I was in denial about it for a really long time. And then I tried my hardest not to at all, believe me”.

At this, Matt gave her a sad smile.

“But the minute I thought I had lost you for good, I knew that I had been fooling myself. I was a shell of myself the entire time I thought you were dead. I couldn’t bear the thought that you died thinking I didn’t support you, and that you didn’t want me in your life anymore”. This time Matt didn’t even attempt to choke back his sob as his tears started flowing. 

Tears were also streaming down Karen’s face as she took a breath before continuing. “I just kept playing that last conversation we had in my head over and over. And then somehow you came back and-"  
Now it was Matt’s turn to take her face in both of his hands He kissed her like he never intended to stop. They eventually broke apart and touched their foreheads together.

“I know you’re going out tonight, but can you stay for a while?” Karen smiled as she asked him, running one hand through his hair while wiping her eyes with the other one.  
And suddenly the thought of not holding her in his arms all night was completely out of the question.

“You know what?” he said softly, running his hand up and down her back. “I think the city can do without Daredevil for tonight”.

Karen smiled as she raised her eyebrows.

“Oh really? I’m flattered Mr. Murdock”, she said, wiping her eyes once more.

Matt laughed and without another word picked her up and carried her over to the bed.  
*************************************************************************  
Later, Karen lay on top of his chest, her finger absentmindedly tracing patterns on his skin. Matt smiled, eventually grabbing her hand and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss.  
“I suppose I should probably feel guilty about depriving Hell’s Kitchen of Daredevil tonight” she said with a smile in her voice. “But I’m really glad you stayed.” 

Matt laughed as Karen shifted. He adjusted himself down on the bed so they were eye level to each other. 

Matt brought his hand up to her face, gently running his thumb over her cheek. “There is nowhere on Earth I would rather be tonight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The Beatles' "I Will"


End file.
